Who needs Viagra?
Reviewing the Audi R8, it’s hard not to gush performance specs like a 14-year-old watching a Top Gear marathon on YouTube. Celebrated worldwide by automotive media and enthusiasts, the speed, buzz, and styling of this machine are all undeniable. It's become something of a big-screen star lately, too.
For car nuts, the R8 is bigger than seeing Megan Fox walking down the street. If you're planning to drive one, prepare to be faced almost constantly by cell phone cameras and surprise gatherings in parking lots. Your license plate and mug will wind up on the Facebook pages of countless strangers.
The R8 even makes excited youth shout obscene comments to their buddies to move in for a closer look. In particular, young R8 fanatics often draw circles in the air with their pointers while grinning ear to ear. That’s gearhead sign-language for ‘burn rubber’.
Lights, cameras, traction
Sorry kids, but that’s not how the R8 plays ball. This machine wears 19-inch wheels wrapped in sticky performance tires as wide as the average torso. All of them are bolted to Audi’s Quattro all wheel drive system-- meaning there’s no tire smoke to be had. Of course, the R8 does hook up and take off instantly on nearly any surface.
Fast? Oh yea. But you knew that already.
Not a sleeper
The side-blades, cybernetic running lights and quad-pipe exhaust are good initial indications of the R8's performance. Of course, the auto-erecting spoiler, abundant venting and ‘move now or else’ fascia get the point across, too. The body is very low, very wide and bigger in the back than in the front. Unlike on a human being, this physique looks super-sexy in garnet red aluminum.
Pictures don’t do the R8 justice. The subtle details, seamless blending of finishes and intricate sculpting must be seen in person. It’s like a taut, chiseled swimsuit model in a carbon fibre two-piece.
Folks did numerous silly things for a closer look at the test car throughout the course of my week with it. The most amusing of these involved a crowd of joggers heading towards the car. After passing them, a quick check in the rearview confirmed they were all running backwards.