Mini adds Yachtsman to lineup -- not!

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BMW pulled a fast one for April Fool’s Day, promising to introduce the Yachtsman to the burgeoning lineup. With a debut promised for the New York Auto Show (conveniently near the Hudson River), the Yachtsman promised to be a “corner-carving crustacean” that offered MINI’s legendary handling on land and at sea.

Photo: BMW

Now that we’ve recovered from our disappointment (and can presumably now stop saving up for one), we can tell you that the Yachtsman also features a shark-resistant undercoat, Reef Blue metallic paintwork with silver alloy wheels and silver rudder. As the ultimate eco-friendly powerplant, the Yachtsman also featured an emergency 20-foot white sail. A nice finishing touch came from the body-coloured exhaust snorkel.

A two-person cabin with waterproof upholstery, seats that doubled as flotation devices, a spring-loaded herring chucker, and a marine chronometer rounded out the Yachtsman accoutrements.

Kitted out for the youngest of MINI aficionados, the Yachtsman came complete with MINI-branded water wings, pirate flag and eye patch. Factory-fitted graphics options included the “Suck Eggs, Kraken” and “Mermaid Magnet.”