Just Haverin' - with Iain Shankland On Monday we got the big news that Paul Dana will be joining Team Rahal for the 2006 IRL season. First thing I thought was they'd taken him aboard because he'll be bringing all that sponsorship money with him - not for his talent. Since Ethanol is going to be the fuel of the future for the IRL, it makes sense to promote it with one of the more prominent teams. Then my wife asks me: "You know who Dana's team mate is going to be - don't you?" Hmmm. Oh MY!! - It's Danica!!! Paul "5-laps down" Dana and Danica "2-laps down" Patrick on the same team!!?? The Crash-Test Dummies... Surely this is a cruel January-Fools-Day joke!? Nope, it's for real. Other news outlets announced the big news of the three-car Rahal Letterman team. It's no joke - it seems they're trying to clog up the back-marker positions by putting up a two-car moving barrier this year. Danica must have been too lonely back there and they figured they could make her look better with Dana on the team ... surely she can at least finish in front of Dana in 50% of the races. Maybe there's more to my opinions on last season than even I thought possible! Last year I commented that Danica starts at the front and loses at least one position per lap until she settles in mid-pack for the race. After that she generally - but not always - falls back to about 2 laps down by the end of the race. I said: "Hey Danica, to win you have to run at the FRONT - not the back." Some people were upset at me for saying that, but maybe Bobby Rahal thinks I'm onto something here... why else would he bring Paul Dana on board? Two at the back must be better than one. And don't forget, Rahal Letterman didn't renew Vitor Meira's contract for '06. Why would they do that? He finished ahead of Danica in the Indy 500... ooh, yeah - that's why. Their team mate Buddy Rice is a pretty good driver, so maybe there's a real plan in place. How about ..... Buddy runs at the front, while Danica and Paul run interference and do some blocking for him - or in Danica's case causes accidents. Sheer genius! Danica never gets the blame for anything, no matter how bad she screws up. She can do no wrong. It's the perfect cover for "Teamwork." After all they'll be out of the running for winning anything, so being moving speed-bumps could work. Of course, you know I'm only kidding around here - Bobby Rahal is too smart and classy to do something as underhanded as that. A.J. Foyt on the other hand...... ======================================================================= For those of you unfamiliar with the word Haver, it's a Scottish word. You may recall the word was used in The Proclaimers 1989 hit "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)." It says: " And if I haver, yeah I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man that's havering to you. But I could walk 500 miles......" Loosely translated it means: talking rubbish/garbage or the like. That's what I do. I haver. So it's only fitting that the tag-line on my articles will be "Just Haverin' with Iain Shankland" The articles are only my opinion, they're not meant to cause nations to fall and peace to break out around the earth. They're just my outlook on the life of motor sport in general - whatever catches my eye. I welcome your comments, but one piece of advice, if you get furious with me and want to rant at me... go ahead type it out get ready to send me the e mail - but don't send it. Save it till the next day and re-read it before hitting the send button. You'll probably find you won't be quite as upset the next day. If you still want to, go ahead - hit the send button. I promise I'll read it. Whether I respond or not... well, we'll see. Reach me at: JustHaverin@gmail.com
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