All Hallow's Eve arrives tomorrow night, and in light of the scariest night of the year (besides the fateful spring day Matt St-Pierre breaks out his shorts for the warmer season), I got to thinking about the creepiest cars currently on the road.
Creepiness on the road is all about fear-inducing presence, either with a horror-movie scream from the exhaust or a demon-like look that can't be ignored (or forgotten). The Daimler Double Six comes to mind when I think satanic, scary rides. Sure, Christine was scary and Knight Rider may have been for the bad guys, but I'm talking production cars here: these are goosebump-inducing rides that weren't bred for the big screen, they were built to sit in your driveway (and scare your neighbour's kids).
They definitely don't make 'em like they used to. The likes of the Rolls-Royce Phantom Jonckheere are long since gone, but there are a few modern models that send shivers up my spine whenever I see them cruising down the street – and I know children are screaming somewhere in complete terror.
Nissan Quest
I'm shocked that something so visually unappealing is allowed to stalk the streets. It's as if they either didn't look at the sketches at all, or purposefully made one of the ugliest minivans out there. Minivans usually bring to mind families and weekend getaways, but the Quest makes me think of dark alleys, forboding music and dense fog on a dark night. Not cool.
Acura ZDX
Perhaps it's the Acura's pointy, evil little face that gets my hair to stand on end, but there's definitely something about this vehicle that gets under my skin. In black paint, the ZDX looks ready to latch on and never let go, and not in a nice way. Narrowed headlights give the ZDX a serpentine facade that undoubtedly makes some jittery. No wonder there aren't many on the road...
Dodge Charger SRT8
Perhaps this car is extra scary for me because they are the ride of choice for our men in blue. Tricked out with black push bars, the cop's Dodge Chargers aren't just intimidating, they're downright scary when spotted in your rearview (even if the lights aren't on). While our law enforcers do not have SRT8 models, when one such model stalks the roads, other motorists cower in fear as the 6.4L 8-cylinder howels. Like a murderer stalking its next victim, the Dodge Charger is the stuff of nightmares.
Ford Mustang GT500
It's not so much about this Mustang's looks that'll have you quaking in your boots, but more about the sheer aural presence it garners on the road. When we had the pleasure of cowering in its wake here at Auto123, the moment it roared to life a collective shiver was felt amongst all in its viscinity. There's something inherently scary about piloting a car that's trying to harness in 662 horses all trying to break free from the rear wheels at the same time. The 5.8L V8 makes such a tremendous sound when it barks to life, it brings to mind thoughts of sawed-off shotguns and Deliverance-type scenarios.
As I hand out candy to the kiddies on tomorrow's spookiest of nights (well, second spookiest), I wonder if I'm actually glad cars like the Buick GNX, Alfa Romeo Montreal and Buick Roadmaster Station Wagon don't exist anymore. Sure, serial killers and vampires have fewer cars to choose from nowadays, but does that just mean we've gone soft as a nation of consumers? Or are creepy cars on the rise again with the likes of the above currently on the roads today?
Creepiness on the road is all about fear-inducing presence, either with a horror-movie scream from the exhaust or a demon-like look that can't be ignored (or forgotten). The Daimler Double Six comes to mind when I think satanic, scary rides. Sure, Christine was scary and Knight Rider may have been for the bad guys, but I'm talking production cars here: these are goosebump-inducing rides that weren't bred for the big screen, they were built to sit in your driveway (and scare your neighbour's kids).
They definitely don't make 'em like they used to. The likes of the Rolls-Royce Phantom Jonckheere are long since gone, but there are a few modern models that send shivers up my spine whenever I see them cruising down the street – and I know children are screaming somewhere in complete terror.
Nissan Quest
 |
| Photo: Sébastien D'Amour |
I'm shocked that something so visually unappealing is allowed to stalk the streets. It's as if they either didn't look at the sketches at all, or purposefully made one of the ugliest minivans out there. Minivans usually bring to mind families and weekend getaways, but the Quest makes me think of dark alleys, forboding music and dense fog on a dark night. Not cool.
Acura ZDX
 |
| Photo: Philippe Champoux |
Perhaps it's the Acura's pointy, evil little face that gets my hair to stand on end, but there's definitely something about this vehicle that gets under my skin. In black paint, the ZDX looks ready to latch on and never let go, and not in a nice way. Narrowed headlights give the ZDX a serpentine facade that undoubtedly makes some jittery. No wonder there aren't many on the road...
Dodge Charger SRT8
 |
| Photo: Dodge |
Perhaps this car is extra scary for me because they are the ride of choice for our men in blue. Tricked out with black push bars, the cop's Dodge Chargers aren't just intimidating, they're downright scary when spotted in your rearview (even if the lights aren't on). While our law enforcers do not have SRT8 models, when one such model stalks the roads, other motorists cower in fear as the 6.4L 8-cylinder howels. Like a murderer stalking its next victim, the Dodge Charger is the stuff of nightmares.
Ford Mustang GT500
 |
| Photo: Sébastien D'amour |
It's not so much about this Mustang's looks that'll have you quaking in your boots, but more about the sheer aural presence it garners on the road. When we had the pleasure of cowering in its wake here at Auto123, the moment it roared to life a collective shiver was felt amongst all in its viscinity. There's something inherently scary about piloting a car that's trying to harness in 662 horses all trying to break free from the rear wheels at the same time. The 5.8L V8 makes such a tremendous sound when it barks to life, it brings to mind thoughts of sawed-off shotguns and Deliverance-type scenarios.
As I hand out candy to the kiddies on tomorrow's spookiest of nights (well, second spookiest), I wonder if I'm actually glad cars like the Buick GNX, Alfa Romeo Montreal and Buick Roadmaster Station Wagon don't exist anymore. Sure, serial killers and vampires have fewer cars to choose from nowadays, but does that just mean we've gone soft as a nation of consumers? Or are creepy cars on the rise again with the likes of the above currently on the roads today?