I’ve been sifting through online classified used car ads every day for the past month, and I’m still amazed at the stuff I read in these cars’ descriptions, particularly as I’m looking at cars selling for less than $2,000. Some are more memorable than others. Check out the following:
Like new!
Yeah, right. The car’s got 260,000 km on the odo. The engine was replaced at 200k. The seats are ripped. The ashtray is full of cigarette butts. But it feels new.
Rare model!
Dude, you’re selling a Nissan Sentra, what’s so rare about it? Is it because it’s painted in a colour no one wanted when it was new?
Driven by an old lady on weekends!
This ancient sales pitch makes no difference to me as to whether a car has been brutally beaten or actually taken good care of. You can be young and alert or old and, uh, experienced, and still hit a curb or rub a bumper in a parking lot. If anything, it’ll make me feel stupid looking at a car that originally pleased the geriatric crowd.
Mechanic’s special!
A very polite way to say that the car is broken, or needs costly or constant repairs that the owner doesn’t want to spend money on. If I was a good mechanic, I’d get myself a real rewarding project to work on, not a very tired Dodge Neon.
First come, first served!
Well, duh. Why would you sell your car to, say, the fifth person who’s interested in buying it? For s**ts and giggles?
A little rust!
That usually means you can see daylight through the rocker panels.
Must sell!
I always wonder why someone would bother taking pictures of his or her car, post in on the Internet and receive calls and/or emails from people enquiring about it, but doesn’t feel like selling it.
Hurry! Will go fast!
Good for you. But don’t tell me to rush into a used car transaction without the necessary verifications. I’ll take my time if I want.
And my personal favourite:
Perfect graduation gift!
I’m not sure a rusty, crusty, dented ’96 Honda Civic Hatchback is really a gift your kid would appreciate receiving when he or she graduates from college.
Like new!
Yeah, right. The car’s got 260,000 km on the odo. The engine was replaced at 200k. The seats are ripped. The ashtray is full of cigarette butts. But it feels new.
Rare model!
Dude, you’re selling a Nissan Sentra, what’s so rare about it? Is it because it’s painted in a colour no one wanted when it was new?
Driven by an old lady on weekends!
This ancient sales pitch makes no difference to me as to whether a car has been brutally beaten or actually taken good care of. You can be young and alert or old and, uh, experienced, and still hit a curb or rub a bumper in a parking lot. If anything, it’ll make me feel stupid looking at a car that originally pleased the geriatric crowd.
Mechanic’s special!
A very polite way to say that the car is broken, or needs costly or constant repairs that the owner doesn’t want to spend money on. If I was a good mechanic, I’d get myself a real rewarding project to work on, not a very tired Dodge Neon.
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First come, first served!
Well, duh. Why would you sell your car to, say, the fifth person who’s interested in buying it? For s**ts and giggles?
A little rust!
That usually means you can see daylight through the rocker panels.
Must sell!
I always wonder why someone would bother taking pictures of his or her car, post in on the Internet and receive calls and/or emails from people enquiring about it, but doesn’t feel like selling it.
Hurry! Will go fast!
Good for you. But don’t tell me to rush into a used car transaction without the necessary verifications. I’ll take my time if I want.
And my personal favourite:
Perfect graduation gift!
I’m not sure a rusty, crusty, dented ’96 Honda Civic Hatchback is really a gift your kid would appreciate receiving when he or she graduates from college.