Reindeer on Strike! Santa Looks to Alternative Method of Delivery
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| RAMS spokesdeer Blitzen says current situation has inflamed relations between the reindeer and elves. If a resolution to their concerns isn't resolved soon their differences could become irreconcilable. |
North Pole - It seems that Canada's automakers aren't the only ones affected by the CAW. "Santa's own reindeer have been more than difficult to get along with lately", was the word from a SANTA spokes-elf.
Blitzen, a spokesdeer for the CAW connected Ruminant Athabaskan Mammals Society (RAMS), the organization responsible for championing the animal's rights in the collective bargaining process stated, "Our initial complaints fell on deaf ears, mostly due to our member's lack of pull during the off-season. Santa spends most of his time locked up in his toy shop consorting with elves, and pays little regard to the concerns of the deer."
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| Adding salt to the wound of this delicate situation, the elves have created a defamatory likeness of Rudolph, the reindeer leader, and have threatened to distribute it to children on Christmas Eve. |
Disgruntled by their part-time status despite years of dedicated service, extremely cold and isolated working conditions, and lack of danger pay - that stems from slippery surfaces on many roofs that are in an all too common ill state of repair lately - the deer complain of an "autocratic employer who cares more for unseen human children than his own loyal workers", stated Blitzen.
"Exacerbating the conflict further", the spokesdeer said, "The elves have created a blow up derogatory likeness of our RAMS leader Rudolph, and are threatening to distribute it to children this Christmas".